In a week where we’ve seen athletes get suspended for fighting the law and taking a shot in the dark, people say these types of things come in threes. Well, I present to you Sean Avery, the third athlete to be suspended this week AND featured on Mestew. Though the other reasons for suspension were warranted (felonies), Avery’s was not. Of all the things professional athletes have said and done worthy of missing work without pay, the NHL suspends a guy for making a comment about his ex-girlfriend. He didn’t even use a bad word! Tough break, Sean.

By now, you’ve probably heard about the “Plaxico Burress shot himself” scandal. Yes, the outstanding NFL wide-receiver who makes a living catching balls dropped his concealed gun at NYC nightclub and accidentally shot himself. I’m sure between now and Christmas, we’ll be hearing more and more details about the prosecution, attempted cover-up, Antonio Pierce as a poor-man’s Al Cowlings, and much more. But this is the thing that I want to know… (more…)

It’s been a while since we’ve run our I Hate Stupid People segment, but after this weekend I think it’s time. The stupid person I want to feature today is Jimmy Berezik. Jimmy was the star running back for my alma mater, Grand Valley State University. Grand Valley was the top ranked football team in NCAA Division 2 again this year but was upset in the playoffs this weekend by Minnesota-Duluth, 19-13 in double overtime. The last two games Jimmy played in, he ran for over 200 yards. How did he do in the loss? He didn’t play. Why didn’t he play? Because he was suspended. Why was he suspended? Because after last weekend’s 40-7 win, he felt like celebrating by committing a felony. See, Jimmy is only 19 and was doing a little boozing last Saturday. Just like any underage college kid, he ran from the police when they busted up the party. But unlike any college kid I know, he punched the officer in the face when his attempt to flee was unsuccessful. Jimmy, that’s a felony, bud. Your stupidity may have not only cost your team the big game, but I hope it has cost you your future.

I hate stupid people.

To everyone at Mestew Nation, our wonderful nation, and every other nation, have a Happy Thanksgiving. From now through the end of this weekend, please feel free to leave us a comment on what you feel thankful for this year.

For the Thanksgiving holiday, the Borowitz Report has released Sarah Palin’s List of Thankfulnesses. Yes, you know you’re a little curious. Here’s an example:

“The first thankfulness being that I’m thankful for this turkey, and also too for the metal funnel thingy that cut the turkey’s head clean off while it was flapping its wings trying to get out and all. That was fun.”

It sure was, Sarah, fun for all of us. Ok, go visit Andy’s site.